Day 242 – Looking but not Seeing

I nearly got lost driving to work today.

I got a contract in a Public School way up north, and missed my turnoff into the
gated community in which the school was situated.

Getting used to this new level of responsibility and commitment is difficult enough,
but as I became more and more certain I had missed my turnoff, I felt a sharp pang
of anxiety.

It took a while before I could even turn around, and began to zoom back through the
country road.

I was frustrated, tense, and frightened. Living in the future. Living in expectation.
Drone eyes scanned ahead for streetsigns.

It a moment of lucidity, I began to talk myself down. I realized all at once just how beautiful
everything was up here. The road sloping easily across the sun-painted plains. Autumn trees
of red and gold, like fire, lined my travel.

I was looking, but not seeing.


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