Noone likes to lose, especially when it matters to you. It can be painful, and sometimes even damaging. However, losing is one of the entry fees for growth. It’s not just a risk, its a requisite.
In order to win at losing, you must admit you lost – take in all the emotions that come with that. Be “cooked” by your embarrassment. Wipe the mud off your face, stand tall and say “I LOST!” Do not justify, semanticise, or argue your way out of your position as big-fat-loser. A universe of suffering can be prevented from claiming ones own mistakes – and doubly so; that it proves your strength of character as you relinquish your status of “perfect” and claim the more apres peau title “human”.
If you have no aim, then success and failure are of no consequence. “Losing” at anything suggests a goal, a direction. So remember that goal, and use the chaff of loss in the grindstone of contemplation, to create the flaky loaf of well-baked perseverance.
Humility Before, Humility After
Now I am a big proponent of Getting Hype, getting yourself juiced up for a big adventure or a trying challenge is a sacred artform in my eyes. However, when other people are involved, and the stakes are high, humility is king. There are only a few choice situations where you want to come in looking untouchable (boxing comes to mind) – after all, this post is about how to Lose. I like to resort to what I call “inwardly cocky”. To yourself, you’re a badass, you can do anything – but to the people around you, you show respect and an even temper to your rivals.
Afterwards – natch! You lost. And being humble, and cheerful in defeat shows a power transcendental of the game.
Lose Small, Lose Often
This idead plays into becoming Antifragile – benefiting from disorder. When you fail often and make mistakes in a small, easily reconcilable way, you are weaving into your life both incredible opportunities for learning and an insurance against being a big fish in a small pond. A lack of failure suggests a lack of growth – we rise to the level of our own incompetence, and unless you know where that is, and push it further, sometimes that can lead to one massive failure which is harder (or maybe even impossible) to reconcile.