Day 111 – How am I complained about?

P.D. Ouspensky, metephysicist and austere spiritualist, once mentioned how everyone has a “chief feature” or “chief fault” associated with his or her character type.  This chief fault is the main impeding factor keeping people from “waking up” into their lives out of a state of egoistic automatism.  It is also the one element that people are completely blind to: their own chief fault.

Many times I’ve listened to two parties complain about each other.  One person will complain about another, and knowing both the complainer and the complainee gives me special insight into how they interact as personality types, and as people.  This has happened so often that I’ve become very good at not involving myself in backbiting.  However, it occurred to me recently.

How would someone complain about me?

Surely I must rub people the wrong way, maybe consistently.  But no matter how I approach it, I can’t think of anything about my personality that someone would complain about.

I know this is wrong.  I know I’m not perfect, and it’s both shocking and fascinating to see my own typological blindspot, my inability to see the faults in my personality, my reasoning, my interactions with others.

Investigation into one’s chief fault is of course (or should be!), a practical and growth-oriented struggle.  It’s important to acknowledge that we do not struggle against something, but for something.  Struggling to see one’s own problems and errings is not to just bum yourself out, but to correct them.

So I continue to stare into the curtain of selfhood.  The label that beams ‘PERFECT’, knowing there is something underneath that needs polishing.

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