Commonly known as rumination, many internal dialogues that begin with ‘If Only’ end with a quick spiral into sadness and frustration. Brooding over the ‘If Only”s of your life is worse than useless.
Today I met a man working the freight elevator at my job downtown, he looked utterly forlorn and quickly lamented to me that he hated this position, and that “If only” he was at his regular post his day wouldn’t be so crummy.
“Focus on what’s good!” I said. “Are your feet dry?”
“Do you have a headache?”
“Nausea, sore throat?”
“Well then, there you go!” Like that the situation changed from grumpy humbugery and “If Only”s to that of gratitude and forbearance.